I'm a big believer in signs and fate, even when I don't want to believe. Maybe I'm just very intuitive, or very observant. Either way, have you ever been afraid to think of something in case it came true? I'm not talking about house fires or that sort of thing. I mean...I'm not even sure how to put it into words. In the past, or at least, the very recent past, I had a fear. Suddenly this fear wasn't a fear anymore. Essentially you're living through a personal hell or nightmare, to the point where you've forgotten that it's even reality until it hits you in the face. Even then you robotically truck through it because if you don't then you're pretty much a goner.

So now I have a fear of fear, and then a whole subset of fears I don't even want to think about in case that, one day, I won't have to think about it anymore. The only thing one fears is fear itself, indeed.

In relation to those fears, you see things (not dead people)... but almost in some kind of bizarre over-compensation you tell yourself that the things you see are a result of your delusion and imagination. However, because of said former nightmare coming true, you can't deny the things that you see.

And all you can do is wait and brace yourself for the pain.

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On a happier note, an uneventful work day today, aside from...no wait, it was pretty uneventful. Although it was definitely hectic as a day. I ran around from work, to voice rehearsal, to dinner with Yve and Sasha, and then to dessert with Sarah, Leesa, Michelle and Mauro.

And now, I'm digesting all that food.

Good times, good times.



:: Emily 2:16 AM [+] ::